- SEEKING (expectancy)
- RAGE (anger)
- FEAR (anxiety)
- LUST (sexual excitement)
- CARE (nurturance)
- PANIC/GRIEF (sadness)
- PLAY (social joy)
CARing
We can counter virtually all mass violence with CARing. That sounds so easy. But it means warm and loving care from birth on. That does not seem so hard. But for some, it can be.
Not all infants come into the world with both parents. There are single moms and single dads.
Stressed Mom
Public Domain
I never realized what that might entail until the birth of my grandson. Dashell was a screamer from the getgo. He screamed to be nursed. He screamed to be burped. He screamed to be changed. He screamed to be held by his mother. He screamed to be held by his father.
No one could sympathize with his parents. Hiromi, my daughter, and her husband Jared are home together almost constantly. How could an infant be that much trouble? But you had to be there to understand. They both were sleep deprived. Dashell only slept for very short bursts. As soon as he woke up he began screaming.
I was amazed at the loving care they both gave him. But it was never enough. And neither of them had wanted to have kids. Not at all. But Jared’s parents were insistent. I mean really insistent. And being that they were dependent on Jared’s parents for shelter and food, it is amazing they held out for ten years before caving to ongoing nagging.
My wife and I thought it would be disastrous. I grew up in a non-caring home and most of my life I was a monster. I flew into a rage at the slightest incitement. I mean uncontrolled rage, not anger. I chased cars down that cut me off jogging or bicycling and banged on the window and screamed at the driver.
I lost it on a regular basis and no therapy worked until the advent of Prozac. Before Prozac, I encountered the gamut of therapy including electroconvulsive therapy. That was tried out of desperation by my first psychotherapist. After a few years, he gave up. And of course, many years later I was in therapy for spouse abuse.
So my wife and I really feared recycling of this with Dashell. But to both our amazement they both attended Dashell with constant loving care. When they were advised to try and let him scream, Jared said, “I am never going to allow my son to scream.”
Dash
Of the seven primary-affect systems, perhaps CARing is the least studied. Or maybe better put, the CARing system has been mainly studied in terms of pregnancy and motherhood Panksepp says that most neuroscientists accept the Lust and Rage brain systems Both these affects are clearly manifested in animal behavior and are essential for survival. But Caring is also essential for survival especially in relation to nurturing the young.
The ability of young animals to reach reproductive maturity is linked to the quality of motherly care. The quality of motherly care is enhanced by oxytocin. So scientists study oxytocin in relation to pregnancy and motherhood and indirectly study Caregiving.
Panksepp says the Caring system uses the Seeking system to fulfill its action-oriented functions. This segment of the CARE system arouses Seeking impulses, which promote goal-driven maternal foraging tendencies. In animals foraging consists of nest building and retrieving pups. In humans, it means preparing for the birth and all the foraging after that. Injections of oxytocin into the VTA promote just such maternal behaviors.
Basically, oxytocin and other hormones along with infant contact enhance the CARing system. New therapeutic methods with oxytocin and other hormones will hopefully help parents like mine to experience nurturing affect and display supportive behaviors. Enhanced oxytocin activity may promote accepting, positive, prosocial feelings that continue to affect for a lifetime. Infants who receive such loving motherly care are better off emotionally and physically for the rest of their lives.
But this is like being dealt a poker hand of two kings and three aces. When kids reach school age, teachers can watch for students lacking secure attachment and do their best to not only teach but to CARE.
I caused teachers GRIEF all through elementary school. So instead of getting CARing at school, I remember having “Joel Dames” screamed at me pejoratively for at least seven of my eight years of elementary school. As if to rub that in, all of my teachers but two marked shiny bright red Fs for Cooperation and Dependability down the left side of my report cards.
I was not a mass shooter, I did not own a gun. Instead, I set fires from about age ten. In high school, I continued lighting fires and set off fire alarms, and shot cherry bomb and ashcan loud fireworks exploding over garages at night behind my house as police scurried, slipping, sliding and cursing as they jumped garage roofs behind my house. I was a tiny, quiet kid, and aroused no suspicions. Only once when I was eleven, firemen approached and asked where I got the matches. I said I found them. They said not to play with matches.
Thinking back, I should have been taken in and booked. Not to be jailed, but to be eventually identified as needing Care.
Clinical Implications for CARE
In years to come, we will undoubtedly learn much more about the CARE system. New therapeutic methods might alter Brain CARE chemistry and related social-emotional systems. Such interventions could help parents experience nurturing affect and display supportive behaviors more effectively. Facilitation of oxytocin activity may promote the kinds of accepting, positive, prosocial feelings that can increase confidence in one’s capacity for greater emotional openness. Indeed, in a series of recent studies, it has been found that plasma oxytocin in mothers increases with the abundant affectionate contact with their babies.
Overall, the effect of oxytocin and other hormones, as well as infant contact, is to enhance the CARE system. It has long been known that the most effective psychotherapy occurs when clinicians know how to approach clients with unconditional acceptance, empathetic sensitivity and full concern for their emotional lives. In a word, effective psychotherapists share their ability for CARing, along with the ability to recruit the healing power of positive emotions. And this lesson is not just for those whose professional focus is to help heal the mind, also for those harried clinicians who are more involved with bodily than mental health, and two, all too often, do not have sufficient time for the emotional concerns of their clients. Of course, a loving touch does not need much time. But it does need consistency. The Archeology of the Mind, Jaak Panksepp and Lucy Biven
Self-help books that help:
Total Self-Renewal through Attention Therapies and Open Focus
The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body
