Eye-Contact Phobia Therapy

Eye-Contact Phobia

Eye-Contact Phobia

Someone responded to my blog saying he suffered from General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) all his life, but his current anxiety centers about eye contact. It limits his freedom from being out in public. It affects his relations with family. For very brief moments the obsession is not there, but as soon as he thinks about it, anxiety floods him. He wonders if he even knows how to make eye contact. For him this is a waking nightmare.

Steve Blass Disease

In a sense, this is Steve Blass disease. Steve Blass, pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates, was on a roll to a glorious career from 1968 through 1971 with the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 1971 he made National League All Star team. He finished second in the voting for 1972 World Series MVP behind team mate Roberto Clemente.

Then things suddenly began coming apart. His pitches were all over the place. He could no longer lock in on the batter. It became difficult to shut anything out. Everything was competing for his attention. No longer on auto pilot, he was aware of each and every move.

By mid 1973 he was throwing the ball into the bleachers. In 1974 he was back in the minor leagues. At the end of spring training in 1975 he was out of baseball. Steve Blass became a baseball legend for all the wrong reasons.

Steve Blass disease is not uncommon. It happens with sports, acting, and with concert performing. More commonly it is known as choking. Attempting to take control of unconscious processes can be disastrous whether it involves sexual arousal, falling asleep, playing a musical instrument, or pitching, catching, or batting a ball.

All involve narrow focus, over thinking the components of performance, and control over performance. Performance can be before an audience, or it can be sleep, sex, or eye contact.

In a hyper state of self-focus, we pay attention to the minutiae of our motor movements. We try to exert conscious control over these movements. Hyper self-focus disrupts the automaticity of complex patterns of behavior. It gets  worse when you attempt to think yourself out of hyper self-focus. The more you think, the deeper down the rabbit hole you tumble.

Cognitive Attention Syndrome (CAS)

Adrian Wells calls such unhelpful patterns of thinking – worry, fixation, and rumination – Cognitive Attention Syndrome (CAS).  Open Focus and Attention Training Therapy can be effective in overcoming the narrow thinking and focus of CAS.

Rather than allow harmful patterns of thinking determine our focus, we want to flexibly choose and shift. Sometimes we want to focus on the foreground, sometimes the background, shifting freely back and forth and creating a relaxed alpha state of brain waves.  In this flexible way we can relieve rigid narrow focus and rumination .

A good reader takes in sentences and paragraphs. The focus is not on letters and words, but active involvement with content and message.  Focus shifts and adapts to content and message. With a good book you are absorbed, involved, and unaware of the physical act of reading.

Exercise: Open-Focus Reading

Attention Training and Open Focus Therapies

We already know how to make eye contact. We do not need to relearn this.  We need to learn how to shift out of the obsessive left-hemisphere focus. We do this by learning to shift awareness through Open Focus and Attention Training Therapy. With Attention-Training Therapy we practice shifting focus among a range of sounds emanating from different locations and directions. With Open-Focus Training we learn to shift from foreground to background, between narrow and  diffuse and absorbed and objective focus. And we learn to focus on the space between things to shift into alpha brain processing.

Eye-Contact Phobia Therapy Video

 

Self-help books that help:

Total Self-Renewal through Attention Therapies and Open Focus (Sample Chapters)

The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body

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3 Responses to Eye-Contact Phobia Therapy

  1. This is my favorite post of yours so far. Steve Blass disease ruined my dart game. I used to be a very good dart thrower until one day somebody commented on my unique throwing style. I immediately started being “aware” of it, and I am not exaggerating when I say that after that, my darts would flat spin and just slam into the board and not stick on anything. My teammates were baffled. I was baffled and I had to finally just quit. Once I became aware of how I subconsciously threw, I could never subconsciously throw again. I wonder if that is what has happened to Tiger Woods.

    I too become too aware of my blinking and my breathing and sometimes my thoughts. Not as bad as some people have it but it definitely plays a part in my life from time to time. Now I am sitting here aware of ever blink I have. lol I swear my brain is like a patch of velcro that everything in the world sticks to.

    • Avatar photo Joel says:

      That is so funny, Lisa. Because it is so real and something we rarely talk about.

      Very early on in my teaching career I spoke with a teacher who had insomnia. I think from that night on I had insomnia – for the next thirty years. I no longer have it now, since I’m not teaching and it just doesn’t matter. When I was teaching I was “on stage” six hours a day and could not do without a night’s sleep.

      It is taking a lifetime to begin to understand the brain and how it operates. Much of the time, incredible as it might sound to someone, we are adversaries. So we must learn how to outsmart our own brain. So weird.

      So I think your kids are so fortunate. I thought of you this morning when I read “Escaping the Self-Critical Eye for the Sake of My Daughter.”

      http://lithub.com/escaping-the-self-critical-eye-for-the-sake-of-my-daughter/

      So insightful. And lithub.com has a wealth of great articles. With all of the stuff to read on the internet, the only way I get to read books is audio. I’m listening now to “Unbroken.” It is a World War II story — that I would not ordinarily want to read. It gives me insight as well. Not that I would recommend it, because it is too painful to bear at times. But I need to read stuff like that.

      So good hearing from you. It makes my day happy!

  2. Joel, yes, I do the same thing about insomnia.

    I do so fine with it, but then I hear about somebody else’s insomnia, then I develop it too. Yes learning to outsmart our own brain is what it is. I always says I am trying to “master” mine.

    I just had a talk not 30 minutes ago with my 9 year old daughter about the importance of mastering yourself and being able to control your thoughts, and not let them control you. I’m not sure it is ever possible TO master yourself especially knowing as little as we do about the brain but its definitely something I strive for. I am very much ruled by this compulsive personality of mine and I am going to get it licked if it kills me. What really kills me is that I will not be around 500 years from now to know everything they will know about the brain.

    You do such a great job of explaining in an interesting way. I will definitely check out that link you gave me!

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