There are some good self-help books out there with good advice. Thousands of people have read many of them. In fact, they go from one good book to another. Without being helped. Attention Therapies don’t work. And I am not being facetious.
Suicidal Monster
I started out from the get-go, abused, hopeless, barrel-bottom. I’ve changed my life around over the latter years of my life. I’ve been documenting what helped in my blogs and books. I want to help others change. I know they can do it. But most are attracted to Attention Therapies as a quick fix. They read what I have to say, then move on. Nothing has changed. It is truly frustrating for me. But it recalls a simple proverb: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
The people who research and read self-help books are mostly at least above average intelligence. I recall the comment made to my wife by my aikido sensei in Japan after reading my book, Scripting the “Mind with Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy” (in Japanese) It doesn’t work. He read the book through and it doesn’t work.
Attention Therapies
Reading a self-help book on Attention Therapies does nothing. Knowing about how to do something is quite different from doing it: taking it and applying it to your life. It is like reinvesting dividends. You reinvest when the stock is up or down. It is compounded interest. You don’t see a difference until after a period of time. But just reading a book on finance that describes this process does nothing for you. Most people will not take the step of checking off a box on a form that will start the dividend reinvestment process. You can’t decide on whether dividend reinvestment works without taking this step.
Dieting is Doable
I was so skinny people actually laughed in my face. I had a rain jacket than hung down over my shoulders making me almost disappear. One guy that I couldn’t avoid would call his friend over to show him and they’d both have a good laugh. I was in my fifties and they were at least as old.
Over a three or four-year period, I ate more than usual and regularly worked out at a local fitness center. I went from 135 to 170. They stopped laughing. I looked great. Actually, I discovered I felt best at around 155, so I dieted for two more years after that and got back down to 155.
Dieting is doable, though most people could never do this. I could easily have told them how I gained and lost weight, but I know no one would actually do it, so I kept it to myself. The method wasn’t hard; it was ridiculously easy. Anyone could do it. I kept a record daily of my calorie intake and made sure I did not exceed a decided upon limit.
Mental fitness is the same, though admittedly even harder than a diet or physical fitness program. With a diet, I counted calories. With physical fitness, I changed into my workout clothes and left the house.
Mental Fitness Takes More Time
Mental fitness takes a more of a leap of faith. I can tell you exactly what to do, and I do this in my blogs and books, but you have not witnessed improvement. You will never see the “before.” I describe it a bit in my books and blog posts, but words cannot capture the despair that lasted for much of my life.
So I can just hope that some people who read my books and blog posts will take it and run with it. I cannot change your frame of mind. You must make that change and it is no small thing. It takes work on several fronts: Breathing (Breath Work and Breath Awareness, Insight Meditation, Cognitive Therapy (In Progress) (Scripting Your Mind with Self-Talk), Attention Therapy, Open Focus, And Metacognitive Therapy.
I am here to help anyone that asks my help if you have questions. But most of what I say is in my books and blog. And I am 80 years old, so who knows how long I’ll be around.
Self-help books that help:
Total Self-Renewal through Attention Therapies and Open Focus
The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body
