Unconditionally Accepting Others?

Unconditionally Accepting Others

It is hard enough to unconditionally accept ourselves. Unconditionally accepting others is really difficult and may be impossible. But letting go of hating and blaming is unburdening a load that makes this life easier.

It is not easy to let go of blaming and damning. It is a pattern of thinking that is easy to fall back on. But if there is comfort, it is short-lived. The long-lasting hatred, anger, and mental and physical upset and discomfort put you on the negative side of the scale of equanimity.

You can sit around all day and blame others for the suffering you have endured and are continuing to endure. It is not a good idea, though, because the more you do this the worse you feel, and the more you will continue feeling lousy. If you want to feel good more of the time, you need to attempt to begin to practice letting go of hate and blame.

Irrational Belief

Irrational Belief: People have to treat me considerately and fairly, and when they don’t they are rotten individuals who deserve to be severely damned and punished.

The other day I received an email from YouTube: “Hi Joel Dames:

Due to a copyright takedown notice that we received, we had to take down your video from YouTube.  Takedown issued by Professor Adrian Wells.”

Stalked?

Accepting Others?

My first thought: Professor Wells is a rotten bastard. I was “fit to be tied.” I understand this cliché now in a new light. In the state I was in, it would have been best if I were tied down.

The video that was taken down was an original production from start to finish. I did the voice over and the images were taken by my wife Hitomi and myself. Sounds were in public domain. This video had been on the number one pages of both Google and YouTube. It had over 12,000 views. 

Actually, I kind of anticipated this happening. Over the past several months, I had gone from having Google first page ranking for four of my blog posts to not being ranked at all in Google’s top ten pages. Someone out there had gotten Google to take them down.

I had contacted Professor Wells years back and mentioned that I was using his method effectively and had downloaded it from a site on the internet.  Professor Wells said he would have the sight taken down immediately. I had checked and he did just that.

Most people are not so very rational. The more irrational they are, the more they are suffering. I believe Professor Wells is suffering. He created his therapy is to alleviate Cognitive-Attentional Syndrome.

Cognitive-Attentional Syndrome

CAS is an attentional strategy of threat monitoring. Attention gets fixed on threatening stimuli. A person with OCD monitors forbidden thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A paranoic monitors people’s suspicious behaviors. The hypochondriac monitors the body for signs of disease. Threat monitoring increases access to negative information and maintains the sense of threat.

If Professor Wells and I got to know each other under other circumstances, maybe we’d be friends. We both have suffered, devised our own self-therapy, and now are attempting to share with others.

On the other hand:

“Mine is a most peaceable disposition. My wishes are: a humble dwelling with a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, milk and butter of the freshest, flowers at my window, some fine tall trees before my door; and if the good God wants to make me completely happy, he will grant me the joy of seeing some six or seven of my enemies hanging from those trees. With my heart full of deep emotion I shall forgive them before they die all the wrong they did to me in their lifetime. True, one must forgive one’s enemies, but not until they are brought to execution.”

Just One at a Time Wikimedia Commons
Patrick Feller, Humble, TX

Henrich Heine

Sigmund Freud commented on Heine’s comment:

“Forgiveness is, perhaps, one way to get peace of mind. But not while you are being heckled, molested, tortured; not while you are still the victim, and maybe not afterward. On the other hand, it doesn’t serve your well-being to dwell on the people who made or continue to make your life difficult. The problem is not whether or not to forgive, but how to give these people the least amount of your focus as possible. You don’t want to raise your blood pressure and lose sleep holding on to resentment and hostility. When that starts to happen, it is beneficial for your well-being to work on letting go.”

Twitter Wisdom

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”  https://twitter.com/debihope

Self-help books that help:

Total Self-Renewal through Attention Therapies and Open Focus

The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body