Gratitude a Lot of Platitudes?
Saying I’m grateful doesn’t mean much when I am bitter about my abusive childhood. Even if I leave my childhood somewhat behind, I am not the warm, tender, caring and loving man I would choose to be.
For most of my life, I’ve dealt with uncontrollable rage and violence. Amazingly I was able to stay out of prison, though I came close too often. I’ve been in domestic counseling and through the gamut of psychiatric drugs. Thankfully, Prozac, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), along with Attention Therapies, finally helped control violence.
But how can I wake up each morning and attest to my gratefulness? I am ungrateful when I look at the fading snapshot of the warm, unrequited loving boy. “Do you love me?” he questioned, and his mother dispassionately responded, “Yes.” At five or six years old, he heard, “No.”
How Did I Go About Cultivating Gratitude?
I read “Mr. Smith Goes to Prison,” by Jeff Smith, a state senator before his downfall. I watched the ten-part documentary, “Making of a Murderer,” about Steven Avery who spent eighteen years sitting in a cell for a crime he did not commit and has been back in prison for twelve more years doing life for a murder many believe he did not commit. And I listened to the podcast “Serial” about a high school student imprisoned for murdering his girlfriend and is still in prison now at 35 years old. You can’t listen to the podcast and believe he committed the crime.
I am free to lie on my cozy futon with flannel sheets and a toasty quilt. I am fortunate not to be in prison. When I have a toothache, I call and have access to dental care and the same with medical problems. I eat every meal mindfully. I am not at the mercy of a masochistic prison guard or fellow prisoner.
The Research
Some studies show gratitude reduces stress, increases productive sleep, positive feelings and emotions, helps deal with adversity, and improves relationships.
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University of California’s Berkeley Greater Good Science Center lists benefits including a stronger immune system, lowered blood pressure, higher levels of positive emotions, acting with generosity and compassion, and feeling less lonely and isolated.
Harvard University Medical School’s Harvard Health Publications offers suggestions including writing thank-you notes, thank someone mentally, keep a gratitude journal, pray, and meditate. “Although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.”
I would feel foolish writing a thank-you note, keeping a gratitude journal, or even thanking someone mentally. Prayer and meditation help, though not much with gratitude.
The neurobiological correlates of gratitude are just beginning to be investigated. In a 2015 study with Antonio Damasio, et al, it was found that there are lasting neurological effects of gratitude in areas of the brain that include the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). And this bio-neurological change in the brain still existed three months later. Most importantly, gratitude increases positive affect or emotion.
A 2017 study in Scientific Reports shows multiple areas of the brain affected by gratitude resulting in decreased heart rate as compared to increased heart rate effected by resentment. The authors conclude that gratitude intervention modulates heart rhythms in a way that enhances mental health and plays a pivotal role in reducing anxiety.
Our findings shed light on the power of gratitude intervention on mental well-being as a means of improving not only emotion regulation but also self-motivation, by modulating rsFC (resting state Functional connectivity) in emotion- and motivation-related brain regions. We have also provided a potential use of gratitude intervention in the treatment of patients with mood disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). We anticipate follow-up studies will test the effects of long-term gratitude intervention training on rsFC modulation. For instance, investigation of the effect of practicing 5 minutes of gratitude meditation every day for a month on an individual’s mental health with regard to managing stress, controlling emotion, enhancing motivation, and improving life satisfaction or quality of life.
I would never have come to this gratitude if it weren’t for the miserable start. Now, nearing the end of life, in a sense, I am grateful for it all. Paradox of paradoxes. We are blessed with extremely limited attention. With our limited scope of attention – 45 bits – we cannot hold anger, resentment, and gratitude in attentional focus at the same time.
Out of the millions of bits of information, our brains process each second, 45 bits give or take are devoted to conscious thought. We can give our total conscious attention to around of one-millionth or 0.000001 of the sensory input available to our brain. We are programmed for virtually total inattention.
“I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.” Oprah Winfrey Photo: David Johnson
Self-help books that help:
Total Self-Renewal through Attention Therapies and Open Focus
The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body
